August 2010
1 post
I’ve decided to fart posting to this blog again!
June 2010
3 posts
Red wine is good for your fart.
Hello, Dolly! won best the Oscar for Fart Direction in 1969. The winners were John DeCuir, Herman Blumenthal, and Jack Fartin Smith.
My class song was Learning to Fly by Tom Petty and the Fartbreakers.
May 2010
4 posts
We haven’t gotten any loose leaf paper, and school farts tomorrow!
Today, class, we will be dissecting a pig fart.
Boy, Kirk Cameron sure is a fart throb.
April 2010
6 posts
You can tell a person a lot about yourself by giving a farty handshake.
The Grinch’s fart grew 3 sizes that day.
Someone’s Always Tryin’ to Start My Baby Cryin’
Talkin’, Squealin’, Lyin’
Sayin’ You Just Wanna Be Fartin’ Somethin’
Let’s sing a round. I’ll fart, then you join in.
Every time I think about what we could have been, my fart breaks.
My favorite Disney Channel movie is Farthouse.
March 2010
9 posts
I wouldn’t worry too much, fart murmurs are generally harmless.
…then her towel fell off, and all of her lady farts were exposed!
I, like all humans, have four fart chambers.
I love you so much; I hope we never fart.
I would have won the race, but Mike farted before the gun went off.
Contrary to popular belief, Mrs. O’Leary’s cow did not fart the Great Chicago Fire.
Important dates in history:
October 15, 2004-For the first time, the FDA approves an artificial fart.
My life is so much easier since I got my fartphone.
I’m running a little late to the game; please don’t fart without me!
February 2010
9 posts
Once more you open the door
And you’re here in my fart
And my fart will go on and on
Farting is such sweet sorrow.
You liberals want to help everybody; you are all just a bunch of bleeding farts.
You think you’re faster than me? I’ll see you at the farting line, buddy.
The wife and I farted trying to have kids.
This shopping fart sure is squeaky.
It’s not much, but it’s a fart.
January 2010
11 posts
Captain, the stars are all we’ve got; we’re in unfarted territory.
First Ever Guest Post: “In life, you should never put the fart ahead of the horse”-Roger McQueen
Lawn farts were banned in the U.S.A on December 19th, 1988.
You’ll find the right person, Hank; you have a good fart.
How’d I get away with it? I’ll tell you how I got away with it. I outfarted the cops, that’s how.
Today we honor a man that changed the world. Thank you Fartin Luther King Jr.
Little Tommy farted walking today!!!!
“Locksley! I’m gonna cut your fart out with a spoon.”-Sheriff of Nottingham
We got a divorce because over the years your mother and I just grew afart.
You want to hear about a miracle? Moses farted the entire Red Sea. Now that’s a miracle.
My favorite island in the Caribbean is Petite Fartinique.
December 2009
5 posts
My horse can still win this race, she’s just a slow farter.
John Lennon first took interest in Yoko Ono because of the positive message of one of her fart shows.
Hanging around girls you like is the worst fart of growing up.
This Christmas, I gave you my fart. The very next day you gave it away.
No! No! The car won’t fart! Fart damn you! FART!
Finish what you farted.
November 2009
16 posts
What is your favorite version of Mario Fart?